


The Love Life of Tsukishima Kei

by multi_fan_writing



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cat Cafe, Eventual Romance, Fluff, Hinata Shouyou & Yamaguchi Tadashi Friendship, Kageyama Tobio & Tsukishima Kei Friendship, Love Confessions, M/M, POV Tsukishima Kei, Pining, Step by step program to getting Tsukishima's head out of his ass, Team Dad Sugawara Koushi, Tsukishima Kei is Bad at Feelings, appreciating Yamaguchi's looks because he is pretty damnit, but isnt he always, confident yamaguchi, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 05:54:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22978702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multi_fan_writing/pseuds/multi_fan_writing
Summary: "Tsukishima wasn't quite sure when it had all happened. When he had fallen for someone like Yamaguchi Tadashi."Yamaguchi Tadashi is a beautiful boy brimming with confidence like gold, and Tsukishima Kei can't resist his gravitational pull. So he starts trying to confess in secretive ways, with a few nudges from his friends and team, of course.Or, your typical fanfiction full of pining but this time instead of Yamaguchi being the one hopelessly pining for someone he thinks he can't have, its Tsukishima. Featuring construction paper stars, poetry, and a lot of characters knowing more than they appear to on the surface.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 37
Kudos: 201





	1. Realization is Step One

Tsukishima wasn't quite sure when it had all happened.

When he had fallen for someone like Yamaguchi Tadashi.

He wasn't notorious for gaining crushes easily, like others on the volleyball team tended to, nor was he one for romantic feelings in general. Every time Yamaguchi had sent girls looking for him his way with that apologetic gleam in his eye the blond ended up turning them down before they could so much as get their confession out.

It was too much effort for something he wasn't even slightly invested in. He had to study with Yamaguchi, or go out to eat with Yamaguchi at the diner before they split up on their daily commute home, or a thousand other things more valuable than courting some girl who would surely reject him once she realized how cruel he was.

Yamaguchi once mentioned that girls typically thought of his cold demeanor as endearing, something that would warm up to them and only them once they managed to crack his shell. Tsukishima was almost disgusted by the idea. No, he definitely was. 

He wasn't going to act any differently for some girl just because she swooned over him now and then.

But that was the thing, he had never fallen for a girl, but guys were a whole other ballpark. 

Yamaguchi was a whole other ballpark.

Tsukishima had just noticed it earlier that day, but he was sure it had been going on much longer than that. "It" being the fluttering feeling in his stomach when Yamaguchi called him by nickname, "it" being the pride that swelled in his chest when he managed to make the shorter boy giggle, "it" being the sudden smack to the face that was just how attractive the brunette was.

Yamaguchi hadn't done anything out of the ordinary, get somehow Kei was swept up in a whirlwind of emotions, and now he was falling, crashing, to earth with the realization that...

That he liked Yamaguchi. As more than a friend. More than a best friend.

Tsukishima finally pulled his head up from where he was staring blankly into the sink, meeting his gaze in the mirror. Then he found himself glaring.

It felt as natural as breathing to like Yamaguchi like that, but it planted a seed of doubt in his chest. This whole thing was entirely out of his comfort zone, after all. Romantic feelings.

Tanaka, Nishinoya, and hell, even the dumbass duo of Kageyama and Hinata had a better grasp on romance than Tsukishima did, and there was no way in hell he was going to go to any of them for help.

But he couldn't go to his best friend either, not unless he wanted to slip up and admit he wasn't feeling as platonic as he used to for the brunette.

Tsukishima groaned, reaching up to push his glasses up and grind the heel of his palm into his eye socket. 'Frustrated' was the only word for how he felt at that moment.

The blond let his hand fall back down to grasp at the edge of the sink, eyes darting down to stare at his bandaged fingers.

Maybe it would go away, and he wouldn't have to bother with those feelings anymore. He and Yamaguchi could continue as usual and he would never have to know that Kei had a blip of romantic pining.

Tsukishima's knuckles became white as he gripped at the sink just a bit tighter and he looked up once more.

He tried not to flinch as the mocking sound of Yamaguchi's voice tittered in his brain.

_"Whatever you say, Tsukki."_

* * *

Kei was having more difficulty than he imagined he would. Accepting the feelings was one step, but moving past them would be impossible if they only became more unbearable with each mishap.

It was only morning practice and Tsukishima felt as if he was plummeting. 

The walk to school was bearable enough until Yamaguchi had grabbed for and tugged on his uniform sleeve once he had caught up to him, as he usually did. He was beaming that brilliant smile with ease and started talking about his troubles with the English homework without Kei ever having to say a word.

The littlest things caught Tsukishima's attention in mere moments. The smell of Yamaguchi's clothes, and the old and roughed up dinosaur keychain dangling from his backpack, even the little crinkles that formed around his eyes when the brunette let out a soft laugh.

It had been difficult to stay focused on what Yamaguchi was talking about, rather than how his freckles adorned his face. 

Now... well it was much the same, really. Tsukishima's eyes continued trailing after the brunette, focused on him constantly, only now they were training for the upcoming practice match next week.

Yamaguchi was confident on the court, serving and blocking with ease, and even at one point spiking past Hinata. It wasn't hard to escape the ginger's blocks, but the look of triumph on Yamaguchi's face made Kei's heart stutter in his chest none the less.

"Did you see that Tsukki?" Yamaguchi cried out in earnest, spinning to face the dumbstruck giant.

Kei felt his throat grow dry and he had to cough before he spoke, glancing away. "I did," He muttered before hesitating. "Good job, Tadashi." He blurted out and almost instantly he felt his shoulders tense. 

He hadn't called Yamaguchi by his first name since late elementary school, so he wasn't quite sure how the other would react. When he peeked over at the brunette, however, he was sure his heart had truly stopped this time around.

Yamaguchi's eyes were glittering like golden stars, his smile having fallen into an 'o' shape. Fuck, were his cheeks flushed? Tsukishima could feel his own heating up at the thought, but before he could change the subject himself a much more irritating voice spoke up.

"Yamaguchi! Can I start calling you Tadashi too? It's not fair that Stupidshima gets to and I can't!" Hinata whined, dragging out the brunette's last name for far too long. Tsukishima scowled and while Yamaguchi floundered for a response he took the time to slip away from the two. 

Humming, the blond scooped up his water bottle off the bench and plopped down with a sigh. He uncapped the bottle, wiping his forehead off with the back of his hand before he took a swig.

"What's this I hear about you calling Yamaguchi by his given name?" 

Tsukishima sputtered, choking down his water before taking the time to glare at the other who seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Sugawara didn't even flinch, his smile merely growing with a light chuckle.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Tsukishima eventually grunted, eyes falling shut as he took another swig of water.

"Mhm..." The silver-haired setter hummed, somehow sounding smug as he did so. "Well, if you ever do figure it out," Sugawara's hand clasped down upon Tsukishima's shoulder, giving it a light squeeze before it was swiftly removed once more. "I'm always here to help."

Tsukishima's eyes only cracked open again once he heard footsteps, peering after the older male for a split second before they traveled back to Yamaguchi. 

Kei watched as the brunette's cheeks turned a boiling shade of red after Hinata cocked his head to the side, mouthing words that Tsukishima couldn't quite read. Yamaguchi kicked at Hinata's shin, bopping him on the head as the smaller boy complained, and it looked so much like an older brother scolding an elementary schooler that Tsukishima had to snort.

The sound took himself by surprise, and he coughed to cover it up despite the lack of proximity to any of the other Karasuno members. Kei quickly set down his water bottle and stood. 

"If you're done buzzing like a little bug, short stuff, we really should get back to practice," He called out, hearing the subsequent outcry of frustration from Hinata as well as Yamaguchi's sigh of relief.

Just another hour of ignoring that warm ache in his chest and Tsukishima would be able to distract himself with school.

Just another hour.

* * *

What a miserable attempt at paying attention to his classes. Tsukishima should have expected this, really, with how the past few days had gone, yet here he was bitterly surprised by just how enraptured he was.

He was staring at Yamaguchi. Of course he was. When wasn't he anymore.

Its not like evening practices had gone much better, his distracted ease only landing him penalty laps when whichever side he teamed up with continued to lose. No matter if he was playing with or against Yamaguchi he was always staring and missing out on easy blocks. It was a miracle no one had pulled him aside yet.

He was still staring now in the middle of class. Just watching as Yamaguchi flipped the pages in his textbooks and wrote chicken scratch down on the scrap paper splayed across his untidy mess of a desk and... fuck...

Kei quickly turned his head and looked out the window when he noticed Yamaguchi's head tilting up to glance at the board. Sure, it wasn't likely that the brunette would see Kei's blatant staring as he sat a row in front of him just a few seats down, but he wasn't willing to take the chance. 

Who knows what Tadashi would say if he realized Tsukishima hadn't so much as taken a single note in what felt like weeks.

God, wasn't that pathetic. Tsukishima scowled at his childish behavior, scrubbing his hand down the side of his face and turning his eyes downward to glare at his near-empty notebook. 

He had given up trying to take notes when he had to begin scribbling out the random instances he'd write "handsome" or "heavenly" in relation to his wandering thoughts of Yamaguchi. That had been two days ago now, and he was struggling more than ever to keep a grasp on the material they were supposed to be learning.

Bitterly, Tsukishima noted that this hadn't been an issue until he had recognized his feelings for the other boy. Maybe he should have stayed ignorant after all.

The bell rang, interrupting the teacher, and before they could get a word out the students scrambled to grab their bento for lunch. Kei let his eyes fall shut, and after breathing out a small sigh he shut his notebook, tucking it away into his bookbag.

"Tsukki!"

The blond looked up instantly, feeling heat bloom from his chest and creep up his neck when he saw Yamaguchi eagerly waving him over with two bento in his hand. 

"I packed an extra today, do you want it?" He asked, and Tsukishima slid out from his desk to walk over to the other male, gently plucking up the second bento as if it were breakable china. 

"Ah, thanks," He murmured, and Yamaguchi let out a soft laugh. There were the crinkles around his eyes again, and how did he not notice that his nose scrunched up like that too? What was he even laughing for?

"C'mon, Tsukki! I found a new spot out in the courtyard where we can eat alone!" The brunette said, turning to leave.

"Alright," Tsukishima replied and followed Yamaguchi without question, the thoughts of his empty notebook pages left behind back in the classroom with the notebook itself.

He definitely should have stayed ignorant.

* * *

"Do you need to copy my notes, Tsukki?" Yamaguchi murmured as he tapped his wrist lightly. Tsukishima took pause in his stripping for evening practice and looked over at the smaller male. He quirked an eyebrow as if to ask "why" and Yamaguchi pulled back with a soft squeak. It was still loud enough to make Kei's heart skip a beat, however.

"I just mean, well, you seemed pretty distracted in class today is all, maybe even the past few days in general, and I never saw you taking notes and you never asked me if I missed anything like you usually do so I just thought-"

And there it was, Tsukishima's worst fear. 

"Shut up, Yamaguchi," Tsukishima said without any force, shoving his head into his club locker to avoid showing how embarrassed he was. Had he been that obvious? He thought he was doing well at hiding how incompetent he was for the most part. "If you could lend me your notes after practice I'll copy them at the diner."

"Ah, okay, Tsukki!" The brunette said and without further question went back to undressing as well. At least the blond was lucky in that regard, in Tadashi being too kind to push him or ask why he was acting so weird.

Tsukishima realized he was still staring once he caught a glimpse of Yamaguchi's nimble fingers prodding at the buttons of his dress shirt, the taller male scrambling to bury his head back into his locker with a scowl.

Stupid, this was all fucking stupid and Kei knew it. He'd been around the other undressing plenty of times before, this shouldn't have been any different.

"Eh? Suckyshima, your face is a bit red! Are you under the weather? You can't be sick before a practice match!" Hinata cried out rather suddenly and Tsukishima shot him a withering glare. The redhead yelped, ducking behind Kageyama who looked confused before he noticed the blond and challenged him with a glare of his own. 

"The idiot is right, if you're sick you should sit out," The raven-haired boy scoffed, and Kei could feel his eyebrow twitch.

"Sorry to disappoint, your majesty, I'm unfortunately as healthy as ever," The blond muttered, turning away and whipping off his shirt before he shoved it into his locker without bothering to fold it.

"Tsukki," Yamaguchi's gentle voice called to him and he felt another tap to his wrist from the other. "Are you sure you're alright?"

Tsukishima wanted to snap at the brunette, but once he turned around and his eyes landed on Yamaguchi he felt his throat seize up instantly. The smaller male's eyes were wider than normal, a concerned frown down turning his lips, and the tilt of his head made it near impossible for Kei to even muster up the anger to yell.

"I'm... I'm not sick, Tad- Yamaguchi," The blond choked out, catching himself before he called the other by his given name once more and seeing Yamaguchi's eyes widen just a fraction further. "Just... leave it alone, okay? I'll be fine."

He looked less concerned, at least, but he still looked dumbstruck. Tsukishima did his best to calmly begin redressing himself, blantantly turning away from Yamaguchi in order to do so. He could feel Kageyama and Hinata's eyes still boring into his skin, even when Yamaguchi slowly turned away from him in turn.

Maybe he should talk to someone.


	2. Second Step is Asking For Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tsukishima goes to decidedly NOT Sugawara in order to get advice on his situation and ends up more irritated thanks to three older friends.
> 
> And maybe he ends up taking their advice despite it.

He refused to go to Sugawara about his romantic plights, no matter how kind and helpful he seemed, but Tsukishima wasn't sure that this was the better option.

He had declined Yamaguchi's offer to hang out, insisting that he already had plans that Saturday afternoon, and felt twinges of guilt the moment he hopped on the train headed for Tokyo. 

It was five hours enough to stew in his feelings of self-pity and enough time to text two team captains about his dilemma and ask to meet with them. Both were overly enthusiastic about the idea of "someone catching Tsukki's fancy", and had agreed without question. 

Well, after one had convinced their boyfriend to take the hour and a half train trip with him to meet Tsukishima and his "best bro" in Tokyo. That had been another ten minutes of nonsense to wade through.

But he eventually made it, trudging through the subway platform with a sense of dread before he left and stepped out onto the streets of Tokyo. He used his phone for directions to the cat cafe suggested by a one Nekoma captain, doing his best to ignore the influx of text message after text message from him on the way. 

Soon enough, he found the cafe, and with a resigned sigh Tsukishima closed his phone to shove it away into his pocket. He reached out, pushing the door open, and found his lips twitching deeper into a frown once he noticed two pairs of eyes spinning towards him as the bell jingled. 

Kuroo grinned, and it sent a spike of irritation through Kei as he walked slowly over to the table occupied by him and-

"Tsukki!" Bokuto squawked, having to be tugged back down by Akaashi after leaping out of his seat. Bokuto didn't look bothered by this, however, instead beginning to vibrate in his chair. "I was worried you weren't gonna come and that Akaashi was gonna be mad at me for dragging him out here for nothing!" 

Tsukishima didn't reply verbally, grunting as he sat down in the seat across from the Fukurodani captain before Kuroo leaned into his space just seconds after. "He was very excited to hear about your love exploits," The black-haired male said with a hand cupped over the side of his mouth, acting as if it would block the noise from the owl-like boy beside him.

"Of course I was!" Bokuto interrupted. "Akaashi was too, he agreed to join me when I told him you were having love troubles!" He said excitedly, not noticing as Akaashi choked on his cup of tea before glaring at his boyfriend.

"Bokuto-san," He murmured warningly, but it went unheard as Bokuto leaned over the table to try and grab Tsukishima's shoulders, which the blond quickly dodged by scooting back.

This was most certainly a mistake.

"So who is it? Is it Shouyo? My little kohai? Oh! Or is it someone older on the team? I don't know them too well so-"

"It's not Hinata, nor is it any of my seniors," Tsukishima put that train of thought to rest, the idea of being attracted to someone so loud like Shouyo making his stomach turn. Without someone to balance them out, they clashed far too often for it to be healthy.

Bokuto seemed to deflate, pouting slightly, but Kuroo's grin just seemed to grow. "Ah, then that's who it is," He crooned, and Tsukishima only grew more tense with his interjection. 

The blond squared his shoulders, glaring at Kuroo who seemed to find amusement in Kei's irritation as he threw his hands up in mock surrender. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It's that little number 12 that follows you around, of course," Kuroo said without hesitation, shrugging as he let his arms fall to rest behind his head.

"Oh! That guy! What was his name? Yama... Yama..." Bokuto started mumbling, and Kei was about to correct the white-haired male before Akaashi spoke up, setting his cup down on the table.

"Its Yamaguchi-kun," He said simply and Tsukishima swallowed, nodding slightly before he looked down at his hands resting on the table.

"I should have known, really," Kuroo cut back in, catching Tsukishima's attention once more as he leaned forward, arms dropping for him to grip at the armrests of his chair. "You never really seemed bothered by his presence, even when he calls you Tsukki!"

"That's because that's his nickname for me," Kei snapped back, scowling as Kuroo snorted slightly.

"Wait... but why do you need our help?" Bokuto asked, flopping his upper body on top of the table just as Akaashi scooped up his drink to avoid the other knocking into it. "I thought like, twelve had a crush on you, not the other way around!"

Tsukishima jolted at that, angered expression falling as he stared down at Bokuto with wide eyes and parted lips. He quickly steeled his expression, however, glaring down at the other who tilted his head in surprise.

"Huh? Oh, you didn't think so?"

"No," Tsukishima spat, pulling his arms back and resting his hands in his lap. "Why would you think that?"

"Well," The captain pulled himself up off the table and poked at his cheeks with a hum. "Let's see... he was always cheering for you whenever I heard him during practice matches, Akaashi can testify to that since he's the one who pointed it out to me originally!"

Akaashi hesitated before nodding his head slightly, looking slightly embarrassed over this fact, unlike his partner. Bokuto charged forward despite this. "And, and, he touches you a lot! Like how I touch Akaashi or how Akaashi touches me! Like when I will pat Akaashi on the back when he sets me the ball in practice and how twelve touches your back constantly when you make him laugh, or when Akaashi needs my help he'll touch my wrist or tug on my sleeve and twelve seems to do that stuff to get your attention as well!"

Tsukishima opened his mouth to protest but promptly shut it as Bokuto continued to talk without pause.

"That's only a few things," He said with a shrug. "Kuroo mentioned he follows you around and you two are like, always together, right? I guess I just always assumed twelve had a crush on you and that you were waiting for him to confess like Akaashi did to me, or you had already rejected him and you two were still good friends despite it!"

Tsukishima couldn't grasp for words at that moment, opening and closing his mouth a few times before he looked at Kuroo as if asking him if it was true.

Kuroo, much to Kei's irritation, shrugged, slumping back in his seat. "I thought so too, but it's adorable that you didn't, you're usually so observant!" He chuckled, and Tsukishima huffed again.

"He's been overly touchy since we first spoke before a volleyball meet in elementary school," The blond muttered, fingers digging into his jeans. "It... I just thought it was normal for him to be like that."

Bokuto and Kuroo seemed at a loss for words at that, Bokuto frowning and Kuroo mirroring him, something Kei wasn't used to seeing. Akaashi, however, cleared his throat and scooted forward as he set down his cup.

"You came here to ask for our help, and I assume it wasn't for us to confuse you further, Tsukishima-kun," He said calmly, reaching out to hesitantly rest his hand on Kei's shoulder and giving it a light squeeze, much like how Sugawara had done just a few days prior. "Please, what is it you needed help with?"

Tsukishima sat there, staring at Akaashi for a long while before he gave in with a sigh, shrugging off the other's hand. "I wanted... to know how to ignore my feelings for him," He admitted quietly.

Bokuto looked shocked for a split second before both he and Kuroo's faces twisted into what appeared to be anger, the two of them opening their mouths to speak but stopping dead in their tracks as Akaashi raised his hand to silence them both, his eyes never leaving Tsukishima's face.

"And why is that?" He asked softly, not commenting as Tsukishima flinched slightly before staring down into his lap.

"I... it's unrequited. At least, I thought, I think? I'm not sure," He forced out, chest aching painfully and his stomach feeling hollow. "This is all new to me. Yamaguchi is usually the one talking about romance out of the two of us, and even then it's rare for him to unless necessary. I haven't... liked someone like this before, and all of a sudden I can't stop thinking about him."

"Thinking about...?" Akaashi prompted, swirling around the contents of his tea before setting it down.

"Everything," Kei admitted, nails scraping at his legs through his pants as he forced himself to keep his head ducked down. "Like, his eyes, his freckles, how... how determined he is to improve, or how he always has something to tell me. It's scary."

"It's scary because you don't want to fall for him and have it end up all going wrong," Akaashi said and Tsukishima's head jerked up without permission to stare at the setter who donned a light smile. "I was the same with Bokuto."

"Wah-? You were?" Bokuto asked, seemingly taken aback by this information.

Akaashi merely rested his hand on top of Bokuto's, the white-haired male's mouth snapping shut almost instantly as he did so. "So instead of dealing with that fear, you'd rather ignore it, shut it out until it goes away," He continued with ease, and Tsukishima, as much as it irritated him to have been read so easily, nodded in response.

"That won't work," Akaashi said bluntly.

Well, if that wasn't a blow to the chest.

"You can't just ignore those feelings, Tsukishima-kun, because the more you try..." Akaashi glanced at Bokuto for a brief second. a smile lifting his lips upwards before his eyes trailed back onto Kei. "The stronger they'll become."

And there was the kick to the gut right after.

"Then what can I do?" Tsukishima snapped, wanting to ignore the pain that flared up at the idea of the unbearable adoration he felt for Yamaguchi only growing stronger. His sharp eyes and tone didn't seem to waver Akaashi at all, who merely raised an eyebrow at him for his pushy response.

"Well, I thought that was obvious since Bokuto mentioned it earlier. However, as he also mentioned, he didn't think you'd be the one committing the act," The setter said, rather obviously trying and failing to ignore Bokuto as he beamed and started squeezing his hand in delight.

Tsukishima felt his eye twitch.

"Could you be blunter about it?"

Kuroo swooped in once more, effectively stealing the conversation and invading Tsukishima's personal space as he did so with a leer. 

"He's telling you to confess, Tsukki-baby."

* * *

Kei couldn't ignore it, made blatantly obvious by Akaashi throughout the rest of their meeting together, but the alternative didn't feel better despite his, Bokuto, and Kuroo's attempts to make it seem as if it was.

Confession.

"It has to be big, flashy!" Bokuto said, standing up and making explosion noises as he waved his hands around wildly before Akaashi pulled him back down to his seat for the umpteenth time that day.

"Or at least romantic, suave," Kuroo pointed out, snapping his fingers and finger gunning at Bokuto with a wink. "None of that boring old "will you be my boyfriend", gotta spin him around and woo him to hell and back!"

"I don't think I should be taking romantic advice from either of you two," Tsukishima grunted, rubbing at his temples.

"Hey! I have a boyfriend you know!" Bokuto shouted, slamming his hands down on the table and making it rattle.

"One you got without a "big, flashy" confession, as you put it," Akaashi reminded, eyes shut as he enjoyed his drink peacefully.

Tsukishima would never understand how Akaashi could put up with someone as loud as Bokuto and how he could do it so patiently. That's where he and Akaashi differed, he supposed.

But it still lead back to the supposedly inevitable.

Confessing.

How would he manage to pull that off?

Tsukishima groaned as he threw off his bedsheets. He sat up slowly, swinging his legs over the side of his mattress and firmly planting them on the floor. 

Yamaguchi would certainly freak out if he just told him outright, even more so if he confessed with people around. Tsukishima, as much of an ass as he knew he could be, didn't want to place more pressure upon Yamaguchi's shoulders than he already had. 

But he knew Tadashi was a romantic at heart, truly. He might not want something loud in front of the hoards of people at their school, but he would want something he could gush about to people. A sort of "this is my partner, they're so sweet" gesture. 

Tsukishima felt his cheeks flush at the idea of Yamaguchi showing off the gifts given to him secretly by Kei, eyes glowing...

_Glowing like stars._

Tsukishima's breath hitched softly and he instantly sprung up from his bed, stumbling over to his desk and sitting down as fast as possible. He grabbed for the nearest pen and paper he could find while fumbling with his phone in the other hand.

People typically wrote notes to lure someone somewhere to confess, right? 

He wasn't sure he was ready to confront Yamaguchi so soon after realizing his feelings, but he could at least start making headway. An easy way to ease Tadashi into a confession. Tsukishima would just have to take a nap during lunch break to make up for the eventual hours he'd waste writing and folding instead of sleeping.

Poetry definitely wasn't Tsukishima's strong suit. Nor was origami.


	3. Step Three, But Just the Buildup

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Its been... way too long since I wrote something so here's a short attempt at something or other.

The creaking of Yamaguchi's locker is what Tsukishima found himself honing in on Monday morning. The bustling of other students, rustling of school bags, and cawing of crows outside all seemed faint in comparison to the squeak of complaint from the metal hinges and Kei had to force himself not to look over at the shorter male once he heard his muffled yelp. As Tsukishima calmly grabbed for his school shoes and slipped off his home ones he kept his eyes firmly on the rust-stained metal of his locker until Tadashi's gentle grasp caught his sleeve with a tug.

"Tsukki?" The brunette croaked, finally causing the taller blond to look up and frown at the other with a questioning eyebrow raised.

Confusion wasn't the expression Kei was expecting from his friend, Yamaguchi's eyebrows furrowed and his nose scrunched up just slightly. It filled Tsukishima with dread for all of a few moments until he spotted the faint glimmer of hope in Tadashi's eyes, pools of gold lying just beneath the obvious uncertainty.

"What?" Tsukishima managed once his fear was quelled, stepping an edge closer to peek inside the locker he had opened mere hours ago during the quick break he took to sneak away from the court. 

And there it was.

The lime green wishing star Tsukishima carefully folded and refolded for a good half hour lay neatly between Tadashi's white school shoes, the kanji of his name written clear as day, just as he had left it.

"What's the big deal?" Kei feigned, feeling his stomach twist up as Yamaguchi gripped tighter onto his sleeve and he was tugged a bit closer. "Its an origami star, isn't it? Did you leave it there or something?" 

He knew him questioning his friend this much any other time would be suspicious, but Yamaguchi was seemingly too wrapped up in his thoughts to notice.

"I... no, I didn't," The brunette murmured, finally releasing Tsukishima's sleeve before reaching into his locker. Kei watched with interest as Tadashi flinched once he touched the star, almost as if he was afraid it would disappear, before taking a deep breath and pulling it out of the tiny compartment.

Tsukishima forced himself to hum, simulating disinterest as he went back to tugging on his school shoes, all while Yamaguchi shakily began to unfold the star beside him.

The further Yamaguchi got in opening all the little folds the more the taller male's heart pounded, the harder it beat against his ribs, and the sweatier his palms began to feel until finally... Tadashi froze up beside him. Tsukishima looked up after a final tug of his shoes and his breath caught in his throat as Yamaguchi's cheeks flooded with color and a squeak escaped him.

"Its a poem! A love poem!" The brunette bumbled to explain, body jerking as he stared at Kei, almost expecting him to reply.

Tsukishima forced down the lump in his throat with a heavy swallow before merely raising his eyebrow once more, struggling to keep his lips a thin, straight line. Tadashi made a sort of odd screaming noise with his mouth firmly shut before shoving the tiny note towards the blond with wide eyes.

Tsukishima faked a scoff, knowing Yamaguchi wanted him to read the poem, and he did his best to hide his jittery hands as he grabbed the note. Savoring the flushed look on Yamaguchi's face, Kei rolled his shoulders before glancing down and pretending to scan over the kanji he had written earlier that day.

He didn't need to read it. He knew what it said, after all, wrote it over and over on scraps of paper to practice getting it just right before he carefully traced it back onto the lime green paper he stared at now.

_ Stars are scattered across your cheeks, _

_ Stuck in your hair and gleaming in your eyes. _

_ Constellations lie in the patterns you are made of, _

_ And cosmic dust acts like dirt under your nails. _

_ You, a beautiful implosion of chemicals and manifestation, _

_ are the epitome of otherworldly. _

Tsukishima slowly tilted his head back up to stare at Yamaguchi, licking his chapped lips with a shuddering breath. "Seems like they really like you," He said plainly, watching the other boy light up despite the lackluster response.

"You really think so?" He asked before he seemed to dampen once more, slumping slightly. Kei wasn't even able to open his mouth to respond before Tadashi bit at the nail of his thumb nervously and returned to mumble. "I just wasn't sure if it was a prank or not. I'm not usually the one people confess to out of the two of us."

Tsukishima bit back a bitter remark, carefully handing the note back to the brunette and watching him pause before grabbing the edge of the lime green paper. 

"I'm sure, Tadashi," Kei said before he could stop himself, voice softer than he meant for it to come out. Yamaguchi caught onto this as well, head twitching up for their eyes to lock once again as his mouth fell open slightly.

Tsukishima stood tall, shoulders tensing up the longer Yamaguchi stared before the smaller male broke out into a wide grin. Then his eyes began to pool with gold, shining bright and seeming to dance in the light as the Kei's heart decided to seize up in his chest and ache almost painfully.

"Thank you, Tsukki!"

The blond forced himself to nod even as the brunette turned away. 

He was so fucked.

* * *

Despite knowing it probably wouldn't, Tsukishima had hoped that his plan of slipping stars into the brunette's locker would at least help him focus during the rest of the school day. If not because Yamaguchi was pleased with the existence of the stars in the first place, because Tsukishima was at least getting his thoughts out onto paper instead of letting them bounce around for hours. 

Somehow, though, the distraction that was Yamaguchi Tadashi had only become that much more prominent once the first star had been placed.

One glance at the notebook he had partially hidden with his arm would reveal everything in a matter of moments, ideas for the next poems scribbled down and crossed out in an unorderly mess. How many wishing stars could Tsukishima fold in a day? How many poems could he make in that same time?

Kei barely avoided smacking himself in the face by taking another deep breath and carefully setting down his pencil only to look up and have his eyes land on Tadashi once more.

Who knows how many times that day he had stared at the other boy, who knows how many times someone else had noticed.

All Tsukishima could care about was the smile that lit up the entirety of Yamaguchi's face, the way it twitched as if the brunette was trying to shove it away, and the confidence that brimmed from the boy.

If one note made Tadashi this bright, Tsukishima wanted to know how many it would take until the other was blinding.

* * *

"Nice kill, Yamaguchi!" Hinata squawked, flapping his arms around wildly as said brunette shyly rubbed at the back of his neck.

"Ah, thank you, Sho'!" Yamaguchi said before yelping with a slight stumble as Daichi slapped him on the back with a wide grin adorning his face.

"The confidence suits you, Tadashi," The older male said almost teasingly before crossing his arms and tilting his chin up almost pridefully. "Keep it up!" 

Tsukishima turned away with a scoff, shoving his glasses back up the bridge of his nose as Nishinoya beside him continued to elbow the poor gentle giant, Asahi, and chattered on about the power behind Yamaguchi's sudden spike.

The blond began to shuffle off the court before Coach Ukai even blew the whistle to signal the first set had ended, score 25-19. Squeaking shoes made their way across the laminated floor, and Tsukishima was the first to reach the bench as the rest of the team slowly trotted over. Before Kei could scoop up a towel, however, a hand caught his wrist.

"Tsukishima!" The voice cooed, making Kei tense up instantaneously. Slowly standing and turning, the blond put on his most indifferent face as he glanced down at the silver-haired male beaming up at him.

Out of the corner of Tsukishima's eye he noticed both Tanaka swerving around the two with a wide berth and Tsukishima could only then imagine that the rest of the team was following suit.

Tsukishima was never good at reading the lines between Suga's "good" smiles and his "bad" ones. 

"I was hoping I could ask you about something I talked to you about last week," The smaller male said, finally releasing Tsukishima's wrist but planting his feet firmly in front of the blond in turn. "Is that alright?"

Instead of voicing the fact that Kei had no choice in the matter, he nodded and bit down on his tongue with pursed lips. Sugawara clapped his hands together with a tilt of his head. "Perfect!"

The vice-captain made a slight waving motion and after briefly hesitating Tsukishima shuffled closer to lean down. Sugawara hummed, eyes darting away as if to check their general proximity to the rest of the team before he spoke in a hushed tone.

"Now, Tsukishima," He said, leaning closer. "You wouldn't happen to know why Yamaguchi is doing so well today, would you?"

Kei tensed instantly, shoulders rising as he prepared to take a step back before Sugawara fixed him with a sharp stare and effectively stopped Tsukishima in his attempt to escape the oncoming conversation. 

"I might," The blond grunted out rather loudly, his eyes narrowing as he stood up straight once more. He crossed his arms, hoping to guard himself off as much as possible. "I don't know what this has to do with last-"

Sugawara quickly raised a hand and Tsukishima's mouth clicked shut, cutting himself off immediately. 

"Now, we both know that's not true!" The silver-haired setter murmured softly, reaching out to gently rest a hand on Kei's shoulder with his other hand waving slightly as if to tell him to quiet down. "You don't have to say who did it, but could you tell me what happened?"

Tsukishima stared at the smaller male for a few seconds longer before his eyes darted up to glance at Yamaguchi, the brunette sipping from his water bottle while watching as Ennoshita went on scolding Tanaka for whatever reason. A relenting sigh was dragged from the blond's lips as he crouched down once more and met Sugawara's expectant gaze.

"He got a note this morning from... a potential love interest," Kei whispered out, voice cracking slightly over the word "love". Sugawara either didn't seem to notice or much more likely he didn't seem to care, his grin growing wider.

None too gently, he clapped Kei on the shoulder, causing him to twitch uncomfortably. "Just making sure!" Sugawara chirped and released the blond soon after in order to turn and walk away.

Tsukishima inhaled sharply, relief flooding through him for a brief moment before the air froze in his chest as Sugawara's voice caught his ear again. "Oh, Tsukishima?"

The vice-captain turned slightly to fix Kei with an understanding look and a soft smile that made his's blood turn cold. 

"The offer to talk is still on the table. Remember not to wait too long, okay?" 

Before the blond could respond, Ukai's whistle shrieked through the air and Sugawara was running back to Daichi with a wave and call of his name. 

Really, Tsukishima hated that the other male was so observant.

* * *

The next day, Tuesday's star was made of an almost neon shade of pink paper. Yamaguchi's cheeks ended up being a much more appealing shade in comparison as he held the creased lines and letters up to his lips and hid a smile. 

This time he hadn't asked Kei to read it but once again questioned if the note was really for him.

One simple nod had been enough of an answer this time.

* * *

The monotonous sound of spikes, blocks, and heavy panting was only broken by a calm voice in Kei's ear.

"Are you alright, Tsukishima?" 

The blond looked up sharply at the question, breath catching in his throat. He was surprised to find Daichi standing beside him from his place on the floor, the captain smiling sheepishly as the silence drew on.

"You seem tired after the flying fall laps, is all, I wanted to check up on you," The older man said and Tsukishima nodded slowly, head ducking down as he swished around the half-full water bottle in his hand.

"M'fine, just not getting enough sleep recently, staying up too late," Tsukishima brushed off with ease, about to take a swig of water until he froze at Daichi's next words.

"Poetry?" He questioned and Tsukishima coughed slightly, setting down his water bottle quickly and scrambling to stand. 

"Not sure what you're referring to, sir," Kei said stiffly and was about to walk back onto the court when Daichi snorted and the blond turned to stare at him once again.

Daichi reached up, pounding at his chest with a fist to stifle the laughter lying there before smiling again. "I was referring to your upcoming English test, Tsukishima," He said, but as he did so his expression morphed into a knowing smirk that set Kei further on edge. "Yamaguchi spoke of it earlier, remember?"

Tsukishima didn't bother to respond as he quickly turned away and headed for the court as shame bubbled in his chest. Sawamura let out more chuckles behind his back, doing nothing to hide his amusement now as Kei felt the back of his neck heat up.

Daichi was much more thickheaded than he seemed on the surface, but he wasn't stupid enough to not notice Kei's blatant embarrassment.

At least he could count on Hinata to never realize, right?

* * *

Two little blue stars were added to the growing collection Wednesday. One star held the poem Tsukishima prepared in class the day prior and the other held a simple reminder for Yamaguchi to carry his umbrella on him all day thanks to the high chances of rain. 

Yamaguchi almost asked if the note was for him once again, but the look Tsukishima gave him had silenced the brunette completely.

Tadashi tucked the stars into the breast pocket of his uniform when he thought Kei wasn't looking.

* * *

"Ugh, it's raining?" Nishinoya groaned in frustration, hopping down from the window in the corner of the clubroom with a pout. "I didn't bring my umbrella! I thought for sure it was supposed to be 21 degrees out!" 

"Just because its warm doesn't mean it won't rain," Ennoshita mumbled with a roll of his eyes as Nishinoya groaned even louder. 

Tsukishima mirrored Ennoshita, rolling his eyes as he turned away from the commotion and rummaged through his bag quietly. He could hear Asahi's soft voice quelling the beast that was Karasuno's libero, the soft patter of rain on the roof, and Kageyama and Hinata's squabbling behind him. It served as a reminder to keep calm, even as the irritation of forgetting his own umbrella edged at his nerves.

"Ah, Tsukki!" 

Yamaguchi's soft voice called to him, and whatever anger in Kei's face smoothed out once he looked over to the smaller male. With a light laugh and a tilt of his head, Tadashi raised the rolled umbrella in his hand while waving it around.

"You forgot yours, didn't you?" He asked without a hint of malice in his voice. Silently, as to avoid embarrassing himself, Tsukishima nodded. "We'll share, then!"

Kei couldn't protest, even if he wanted to, as at that moment Yamaguchi grabbed for his hand and began to tug him towards the door and Tsukishima's brain short-circuited instantly. Tsukishima just barely managed to grab his bag once his brain had caught up to the warmth gripping his fingers before he was clambering to follow after Tadashi.

"Goodbye, you two!" Sugawara's voice chimed in behind them and Tsukushima ducked his head to hide his red cheeks. 

Maybe he also closed the door a bit harder behind them than necessary to block out the hollering of the rest of the team and Daichi's loud snort and laughter.

Yamaguchi didn't comment on either action.

* * *

Thursday morning, a large yellow star was shoved into the left shoe in Yamaguchi's locker. Kei didn't hear a word from the brunette as he read the note, nor when he refolded it in half.

Despite being somewhat disappointed to not be confided in, the feeling was washed away once Tsukishima noted that all the stars were lined up in a neat row and tucked into Yamaguchi's handbag in the exact order they were given to him.

Yamaguchi held Tsukishima's hand once again as he dragged him to their shared classroom down the hall.

Tadashi didn't once shrink under the gazes of other students in the hallway.

* * *

"Ugh, I can't believe the gym was closed today for some stupid play!" Hinata whined, voice slightly muffled by the meat bun haphazardly shoved into his mouth. Tsukishima rolled his eyes, rubbing his cheek with a slight huff to avoid the urge to yank on his headphones.

As much as he would love to block out the irritating noises of complaint from the short redhead, he knew Yamaguchi would steal the set away mere moments later and encourage him to be more social. But really, the sound of Kageyama agreeing with Hinata with his own pouty dissatisfaction was nearly too much to bear.

"You guys could always join me to train at the Shimada Mart," Yamaguchi offered rather suddenly, nibbling on the end of his own pork bun. "It wouldn't be very eventful, since its usually just me practicing serves, but you would at least have somewhere to try some techniques."

Kageyama and Hinata's heads spun towards Yamaguchi, Hinata with his cheeks stuffed so full he looked almost like a chipmunk and Kageyama with sparkling eyes that made Tsukishima wrinkle his nose.

"You... practice your serves outside of practice?" The raven-haired boy of the quartet asked and nearly instantly Tadashi's cheeks flushed a soft pink.

"I... yeah," He murmured, rubbing at the back of his neck. Without thinking Tsukishima reached out to lightly rest a hand on Yamaguchi's back, shocking the brunette into sputtering out the rest of his sentence. "I'm the only first-year whos not a starter on the team, so once I realized I was lagging behind the rest of you I began practicing with the Neighborhood Association!"

"How else do you think he got so good at his jump-float?" Tsukishima muttered, pulling his hand away and avoiding Yamaguchi's questioning glance. 

Hinata immediately jumped in, somehow swallowing the frankly disproportionate amount of food shoved into his mouth mere seconds ago, and bounced on the balls of his feet as he walked. "I think that's amazing! Putting that much effort in staying on the court really shows how dedicated you are, Yamaguchi!" 

Kageyama nodded in agreement, eager as his eyes seemed to shine brighter in wonder. Tsukishima huffed but a light smile edged at the corners of his lips as the brunette beside him grinned brightly.

"You really think so?" Yamaguchi asked, gripping tight at the strap of his messenger bag.

Hinata hopped in front of the other three boys, forcing them to all stop dead in their tracks, or at least Kageyama and Tsukishima did while Yamaguchi had to be tugged to a stop by the back of his shirt by Kei. "Yeah!" Hinata cheered, throwing his fists up in the air. "You should definitely bring us to your practice! It'll be so fun!" 

"Idiot, don't just drag me into this!" Kageyama hissed but Tsukishima rolled his eyes at the pleading look he gave to the brunette beside him.

Then, Yamaguchi let out a soft laugh that caused Tsukishima's irritation to crumble instantly. "Okay! You can all just follow me there, then," He said, hand rubbing at the back of his head as Kei released him with a hum.

"I'll join you, then," The blond murmured, starting to walk once again before he realized the others were still stopped. Tsukishima looked behind him, freezing as he noticed the dumbstruck look on the other boys' faces. 

"Tsukki, you... want to join us?" Yamaguchi asked with a tilted head, lower lip bit between his teeth.

Kei was silent for a few moments before fully turning towards the trio with a nod. "Yes," He said simply, and before he could ask if it was okay Hinata was jumping again and yelling.

"Stingyshima is actually joining us! It must be a miracle!" The redhead cheered. Kageyama, meanwhile, took a much more skeptical approach, his nose wrinkling and eyes squinting.

"Are you feeling sick? You never go anywhere with us if you can help it," The setter said and Tsukishima scoffed with another roll of his eyes.

"It's not like I got to practice today, either, and it's too early for dinner," Kei said sharply before pausing and glancing at Yamaguchi who still looked surprised. He swallowed before carefully continuing. "Plus, Shimada is still busy, so Yamaguchi needs someone to help receive and block his serves. God knows you two will be too busy trying to show off."

Yamaguchi's shock was washed away instantly, a snort escaping him as he clapped a hand over his mouth and Tsukishima let a smirk cross his lips even as Hinata and Kageyama shouted protests.

That was as good as an invitation as any to join the three on the journey to Shimada Mart if it was Yamaguchi.

"Come on, you three!" Tsukishima called in a mocking tone, trying to hide his smile as he turned away and began walking once more. 

In seconds, Yamaguchi was beside him once again, fingers brushing against the palm of Kei's hand before lightly hooking onto the blond's thumb.

Even then, it was enough to make Tsukishima's heart race.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everything seems to be going well... now how can I fuck this up?


	4. Step Four But Instead You Forget the Plan Altogether

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I told you things were gonna start going wrong, but did you listen? Maybe. I know some of you spotted my warnings though ;)

Tsukishima had been right about one thing, at least. Hinata and Kageyama did their very best to show off, at least for the first half of practice. The pair worked hard to constantly set and spike whenever they managed to actually receive one of Yamaguchi or Tsukishima's serves until the ball finally landed, the volley ended, and the process restarted itself. They did better receiving Tsukishima than Yamaguchi by a long shot, though. Tadashi's serves slipped by the two almost every single time, and that was with Hinata being bad enough at receives as it was. 

It was almost funny, in a fucked up way. But Kei forced himself to refrain from poking fun, at least during the game, because of the proud gleam Yamaguchi would get in his eye whenever the ball hit the ground without so much as another hand touching it. A perfect service ace.

Luckily for the ginger of the group and his continuous failed attempts to receive even a singular serve from Yamaguchi, Shimada ended up interrupting practice, saving him from further humiliation. Shimada had been surprised to see the four of them there when he came out to dump empty cardboard boxes into the dumpster, practically ordering them all to take a break for snacks when he learned they had been there since school had let out. 

Imagine Tsukishima's shock to learn it was well past 6:00, well past when practice would've ended on a normal day, and somehow the sun was setting against the horizon. Getting caught up in passion for volleyball wasn't something Kei had really allowed himself to do since middle school, so to finally be letting go was almost... relieving in an odd sense. That or he had gotten so distracted by Yamaguchi's presence beside him that he had forgotten about feigning apathy. Both seemed plausible.

Tsukishima let out a sigh after swallowing down the remaining water in his water bottle and dropping it onto his messenger bag casually. With a quick shake of his head he refocused, glancing over to scoff at the sight of Kageyama and Hinata squabbling over something once again. Really, Kei should have expected something like it.

"Hey, Milk Boy, can't you keep up your end of the team? Your spiker was falling behind the whole two-on-two!" Tsukishima cooed teasingly before wiping off his mouth with the back of his hand, doubling in hiding his smirk as Kageyama spun towards him with a burning glare. Hinata, looking upset to have been forgotten, poked his head around Kageyama before glaring at Tsukishima as well. He looked offended that Kei had dared to interrupt their weird mating ritual, and Tsukishima struggled to keep his amusement reigned in at the thought.

"What about your shitty serves? I can return them without even needing to reach for them or bend my knees!" The black-haired male barked with his hands on his hips, the words wrenching a snort from Hinata who pointed jeeringly at the tallest of the trio. Kageyama didn't look as angry as Kei expected after the declaration, however, almost as if he expected the tease and was excited to fire back against it. The blond hummed as he turned to face the two head-on, eager to see how far he could push.

"Thank god you aren't a spiker, you're so weak I can block you with my eyes closed I'm sure," Tsukishima drawled, stretching his neck and relishing in the small pops coming from the joints. "Tadashi isn't a regular and he can hit the ball harder than you, you know."

Kageyama's eyes glowed, a wolfish grin crossing his lips as Tsukishima forced his own to purse in order to stop himself from smiling. "I bet I hit them harder than you, considering Hinata can block your spikes just as easy as you can block mine!"

Hinata rolled at that, little bursts of laughter escaping him even as he clapped a hand over his mouth in hopes to stifle the noises. Tsukishima merely raised an eyebrow, doing nothing to hide his smirk now. Kageyama sharing in his snark? Now Tsukishima really was worried he was sick and that this was all a delusion. Maybe the King was right after all and he needed to lay down.

"Hey now, shortie, you have no room to laugh. Even if Kageyama is catching all my serves you keep missing the majority of them when it's your turn to receive!" The blond said flippantly, waving his hand in a dismissing manner and relishing in the outcome. Kageyama let out his own snort this time as Hinata yelled indignantly, sputtering and waving his arms around wildly.

"Stupid Stingyshima, I doubt even you could receive half as well as me or Stupidyama!" The ginger yelled, not looking the slightest bit intimidating as he hopped around from foot to foot both fists in the air. "You're not good practice for us if you can't receive, too!" He looked almost proud for a second, that was, until Kei flicked him in the forehead and stuck his tongue out at him. 

"Tadashi isn't getting good practice out of you, either," Tsukishima cooed, eyes glinting with mischief. The reaction was glorious, Kei's word's succeeding in riling up Hinata further as he shrieked. He lunged, only being held back by the waist by Kageyama who still had an odd, crooked smile on his face. When the two weren't complaining they were almost bearable to be around, Kei noted. Kageyama not completely blowing up at his snark was a nice change of pace as well, and replying to it? It was like a fever dream.

Tsukishima flinched, however, as he was jabbed in the side by a sharp elbow. He turned to frown at the short brunette beside him, Tadashi raising an eyebrow at him that caused him to sigh and back down almost instantly. That eyebrow meant many things, all of which were a bit threatening in Yamaguchi standards. It was almost disgusting how weak Kei ended up being for those golden-brown eyes and scrunched up nose. Tsukishima was sure that if Yamaguchi ever realized just how weak he was he'd laugh before dragging him out and forcing him to buy the next batch of floppy fries for them to share at the diner.

Kei wasn't sure if it was a good or bad thing that that thought didn't upset him. It almost sounded nice. Like a date.

"Fine, I'll stop for now," He grumbled as he blushed, arms crossed and _no_ he was not pouting. Not at all. Even if he was, it vanished the moment Yamaguchi smiled, nodding once in satisfaction before sipping down the last few drops in his water bottle. Graceful in a boyish way, it made Kei's body thrum with the urge to hold him. 

Nearby, Hinata finally managed to calm down, at least to the point where Kageyama released his waist before tugging him into a headlock instead. Kageyama began to noogie the other boy with ease, grumbling all the while, and Hinata whined as his hair grew wilder and wilder by the second. 

Tsukishima was left to wrinkle his nose at the display even despite his desperate attempts to ignore it. Really, it was disgusting how affectionate they were without even seeming to realize it.

"Idiot, you know you can't take the tall asshole, stop letting him get to you!" The setter growled, finally releasing Hinata a second time so the boy could tame the wild mess made of his head. The fond look in Kageyama's eye betrayed just how happy he was to be there with the shorter boy, though, and it made Tsukishima gag. Even if he was weak for Yamaguchi, he hoped he didn't look that lovesick all the time.

Speaking of Yamaguchi...

Tsukishima hummed, turning his attention to the brunette who had since picked up his book bag and was tucking his water bottle back inside. Carefully Kei leaned down to whisper to Yamaguchi, lips twitching upwards at the gasp that escaped the boy when he reached out to squeeze his shoulder. "Really, am I wrong though? You should practice some of those serves against Nishinoya, he's an actual challenge. If you can get them past him, I'll think you're the best pinch server ever-"

THUD! Yamaguchi's bag fell from his grasp with a slight yelp, a bright red blush crawling up his neck as Tsukishima stared in slight shock. 

"Tsukki!" The shorter male stammered, biting his lip before huffing. "You... you can't just say embarrassing stuff like that! Its... I just wasn't ready!" Tsukishima continued to stare, however, as the other ducked his head down and crouched to the floor. His ears were a soft pink, and Tsukishima's heart squeezed in his chest as he realized how flustered he had made the other with a simple assertion. Oh god did it feel both horrifying and thrilling.

"Wait!" Hinata's voice wrenched Tsukishima out of his dumbfounded staring, the ginger rushing forward to crouch beside the brunette and scooping up something that had fallen out of the bag in Yamaguchi's grasp. 

If Tadashi's gasp was anything to go by, whatever he had grabbed wasn't anything good.

"Hinata!" He chided, scrambling to stand up as Hinata popped up from the floor and bounced away with colorful papers clutched in his hands. They looked like... oh no. Tsukishima felt his heart lurch into his throat as Hinata's eyes scanned over the little pieces of origami paper, the orbs widening the longer they read on before they were promptly snatched away by Yamaguchi. The poor brunette's face was even redder than before, his shoulders quivering as he held the unfolded stars close to his chest.

"'Dashi are those what I think they are?" Hinata shouted happily, hopping up and down in excitement. "Are those... are those love notes? Is one of them a confession? They all look so pretty! Oh my god do you have a girlfriend?" The longer Hinata continued to blabber the more Tsukishima could feel his face grow hot, embarrassment taking its own waves on him now as his hands twitched and his knees shook with the need to run away or run up to Hinata and shut him up.

Yamaguchi ducked his head down once again, his eyes flittering around fearfully before Kageyama finally interjected. "Idiot, you're overwhelming him!" As he said it, though, he wasn't looking at Tadashi, eyes darting over to Tsukishima who grew tense under the supervision. He squared his shoulders, hands curling into fists as he forced an impassive frown on his face.

Kageyama didn't seem convinced, glaring.

Hinata pouted, rocking back and forth on his heels. "I'm sorry, I just... I was really excited for you Yamaguchi! You said yourself you hardly get confessions or anything like that so I thought... maybe..." He trailed off, but what he thought was obvious, lingering in the air like a silent question. 

_Do you have a girlfriend?_

Tsukishima could feel bile creeping up his throat even as he tried to school himself and his expression, Kageyama's continued stare making the struggle that much worse. He was judging him, Kei was sure of it, though he couldn't tell what exactly he knew.

Doing his best to ignore the blatant attempts at silent conversation, Tsukishima focused on Yamaguchi who was slumping back, shoulder's falling and a sigh escaping him. A small smile crossed his face, almost bittersweet as his blush faded into a light dusting of rose across the bridge of his nose. It made his freckles stand out more, dotting across his cheeks and filling up the space of his face beautifully. Slowly, Yamaguchi shook his head, pulling the papers away from his chest.

"No," He said simply, voice gentle as he turned away from Hinata who seemed dumbstruck by the simple answer. Kageyama's head jerked, turning to stare at Yamaguchi and allowing Tsukishima to breathe. 

Tadashi, calmer than Kei had seen him all day, walked back to his forgotten bag and jerked it up. Despite three pairs of eyes boring into him, he carefully slipped the little notes back inside, securing his bag with a soft click of the buckles. Tsukishima felt almost relieved as silence surrounded the quartet, Hinata still left floundering for a response, but just as Kei was sure the conversation would end Kageyama hopped back into the mix once more.

"Why not?" It was rude, blunt, just like the rest of him, but instead of irritated he now looked actually confused. His eyebrows were knitted together carefully, eyes wide and concerned as he frowned and rested his hands on his hips. "Did you reject them? I thought you wanted-"

Tsukishima kicked Kageyama midsentence, the setter grunting and wobbling about for the briefest of moments. Fear swirled about in Tsukishima's gut despite his successful attempt in shutting the other boy up. Somehow, Kei had been seen through all too fast, and he wasn't eager to hear how with Yamaguchi so close nearby. What did Kageyama even know? What had he seen in Kei? Luckily, Kageyama seemed thoroughly distracted so the blond wasn't forced to learn the answers. 

Spinning on his heels, the black-haired boy looked ready to snap at Tsukishima for real, but before he could so much as open his mouth he was cut off a second time. This time, though, not by Kei.

Whipping their heads around, Tsukishima and Kageyama we're both left staring in confusion as laughter poured from Yamaguchi's lips. Little chuckles shook the brunette's shoulders as he set his bag down next to Kei's once more, and as his chuckles dissolved into the occasional giggle he stared at the two boys across from him with a smile and slight shake of his head. The glint in his eyes took Tsukishima's breath away. Tadashi looked... well, fond was really the only way to put it. 

"I didn't reject them, they haven't really... told me who they are, yet," The brunette explained with a much more sincere smile than before, and Tsukishima watched with utter relief as shock flitted over Kageyama's face. It was a sign, however minor, that Kageyama hadn't known as much as Kei feared. At least, he hoped. 

Fingers twisting around each other awkwardly, Tadashi shook his head again and dragged Tsukishima back to the present without so much as an ounce of effort. "So until they do I can't really reject or accept their confessions, can I?"

The blond unwound instantly, hands unfurling and face falling into its typical impassive nature without force. He nodded once, accepting the words and humming. "That makes sense," Tsukishima said with ease.

He paused, hesitating when Yamaguchi's eyes landed on him once his lips fell closed. They glittered as if they knew something Kei didn't, but as soon as Tsukishima noticed it the glitter dispersed once more with the arrival of sharp and biting words.

"What if we help you?"

Everyone's heads seemed to jolt and turn in tandem, Yamaguchi's calm confidence falling apart at the seams and any relaxation Kei culminated dying in his throat. Hinata tilted his head as if confused as to why everyone was staring at him now. He smiled, unconcerned with the tension he had created, opening his mouth with ease. "Well? What if we help you figure out who it is? Then you can decide if you like them back or not, right?"

A look of fear crossed Tadashi's face, the boy fumbling over a response as his eyes darted over to Tsukishima. Pleading, earnest, he looked terrified at how to respond. Kei swallowed back any of his own fears, schooling his expression as he pushed himself forward and stepped close to Yamaguchi. Resting a shaking hand on the smaller boy's back, Tsukishima stared at Hinata and smiled. "You should stick to using your brain for volleyball, shorty."

It filled his voice with as much venom as he could muster, which wasn't much with Yamaguchi staring at him the way he was, but it was enough to make Hinata falter and frown. Kageyama cut in quickly after, nodding his head with his arms crossed.

"Sorry, but... I have to..." His face scrunched up in what looked to be an immense amount of effort, a scoff escaping him before he continued on. "I have to _agree_ with Tsukishima on this one, Shouyo. That sounds like a bad idea. What if they end up catching us snooping?"

Hinata looked floored at the response, opening and closing his mouth a few times as he searched for a response before he turned to stare at Tadashi almost pleadingly. Yamaguchi's back shifted under Tsukishima's touch, slumping back into the warm touch as the boy nodded eagerly and waved his hands in front of himself slightly. 

"I'm sorry, Shou... I think its better to wait for him to do it on his own."

* * *

Practice continued without a hitch, Hinata looking oddly nervous the entire time but refraining from asking anything else. Tsukishima was content to let it lie, especially since Yamaguchi ended up regaining his lost confidence in mere moments with praise from Shimada and the continued failed receives from the freak duo. 

Kei went home content with the promise to see Yamaguchi later, ate dinner as fast as possible to avoid Akiteru's prodding, and trotted up to his room to finish up the next note before he promptly passed out on his bed. The following morning Tsukishima tucked the perfectly folded purple star from the night before into his coat pocket, ready to place it into Yamaguchi's locker when he wasn't looking like he had consistently the rest of the week prior.

The walk to school with Yamaguchi was quick, the brunette filling the silent spaces left to talk about a new documentary he had seen and would watch with Kei when they had the chance. Morning practice was fast, too, only really slowed down by the looks shot Tsukishima's way every time Yamaguchi would land a particularly sharp spike or perform a kill block. 

It was a normal day for the first few hours... until Tsukishima went to go change in the locker rooms after practice. Tsukishima was usually one of the first people changed and ready to go, for the past week insisting he'd meet Yamaguchi inside the school because of how stuffy and hot the clubroom became in summer during the day. Yamaguchi had accepted the lie without question, telling him he'd hurry as fast as possible and only giving Kei a few extra minutes to walk to their lockers and break into Tadashi's so he could hide the origami stars.

That's how the morning should've gone. 

Tsukishima changed at his usual pace, the weight of the next star in his pocket keeping him grounded until he closed his locker. Despite his usual fast pace when he looked up he felt dread create a pit in his stomach when he noticed the lack of presence of someone very important. Tsukishima's gold eyes flitted about, but the pit only grew as he confirmed that, yes...

Yamaguchi was missing. He hadn't noticed him leave, he was sure he would've considering the brunette was attached to his hip unless they informed each other they were splitting up, no matter how brief they would be apart. The sudden disappearance made his palms sweat and throat close up.

Where was Yamaguchi?

"Tsukishima."

The blond was dragged back out of his panicked thoughts to spin slightly, finding himself face to face with Sugawara, looking slightly concerned underneath the disapproving frown. The setter huffed, shaking his head almost sadly before lightly nodding his head in the direction of the door.

"Hinata dragged him out before they finished changing. Go."

Tsukishima was frozen for all of a few moments before he wrenched his bag off the ground and ran for the door. He wasn't going to question how Sugawara noticed his distress, much less what it was about, instead bursting out of the clubroom in a panic. He couldn't even bring himself to care if the team noticed or was confused by his behavoir.

He skidded to a stop just before the stairs leading down, taking them as fast as he could while stumbling and grabbing tight to the handrails. The moment Kei's feet hit the dirt floor he bolted, fumbling to shove his hands into his pockets and yank the folded origami star out. It was crumpled in his fist as he tumbled to a stop, only stopping himself from falling flat on his face by grabbing the wall outside the entrance to the school.

Taking a few gulps of air Tsukishima forced himself to quell his shaking shoulders and twisting stomach. He was overheated, panicked, but even so, he slipped through the open doors to the shoe lockers and tried to be as nonchalant as possible. The moment he entered, though, his fears were both quelled and restarted in full force.

"Tadashi," Tsukishima croaked, relief evident even as he shoved his hands back into his pockets as fast as possible.

Yamaguchi looked guilty, though for what Kei wasn't sure, and Hinata looked alarmed at his presence before groaning dramatically. The ginger scuffed at the floor with his shoes while dancing about somewhat irritably. 

"Go away Stingyshima! Yamaguchi's secret admirer will never show up if you're here!" The spiker complained, causing Kei to nearly flinch as he forced himself to keep his lips a firm line. His heart felt as if it twisted itself in knots at the words, and Kei shoved his hands deeper inside his pockets to drop the star. The pain in Tsukishima's sternum quickly morphed into an empty feeling that had him struggling to breathe, his head tilting up in hopes his grappling was less obvious. Yamaguchi looked alarmed by the words, however, his eyes wide and anxious as he jabbed Hinata in the side and took on a scolding frown.

"Hinata! Don't say that!" He shot Tsukishima an apologetic look but Kei merely hummed, desperately trying to push away the hollow feeling in his chest. 

"Its not like they'll show up if you two are standing here either," Tsukishima said, voice deadpanned and cold as he squeezed the star in his pocket. He quickly slid around the two and purposefully shouldered Hinata who sputtered as he passed. The fact that Yamaguchi didn't so much as look at him wrong for the action made Kei feel sick. He wasn't sure if it was better than the emptiness.

Maybe Yamaguchi didn't want him there either, it was a bitter and insecure thought but it felt safe to say with the way that Yamaguchi looked. So sad, why does he look like that?

"Keep standing around, I'm going to go to class," Tsukishima said with a wave of his hand before kicking his shoes off one by one. As he tugged his locker open, taking out his inside shoes, he heard Hinata huff loud and clear.

"You've been bitter since yesterday, are you mad Yams is gonna get a girlfriend? Huh?" Hinata asked, the words making Tsukishima twitch for real this time. Mustering up as much fury as he could, Kei turned to glare at the ginger, relishing in his instant recoil and duck behind the brunette beside him. Fuck Hinata for being so spiteful for someone so short. 

"Kei..." 

Tsukishima's face melted into shock, eyes wide as his head jerked slightly for him to stare at Yamaguchi. Still doe-eyed, eyebrows still downturned, still looking regretful. Why? Why the fuck did he look like that? And when was the last time he had called him by his given name like that?

Why did he sound so apologetic when he hadn't even done anything?

The blond couldn't force his vocal cords to move, instead deciding to shove his feet into his inside shoes. He swung his bag over his shoulder, leaving without even bothering to close his shoe locker or put away the other pair of shoes he had left behind. 

"Kei!"

The sound of his own name leaving Yamaguchi's lips so desperately never felt so disgusting, like claws against his bare skin. Tsukishima's voice was stuck in his throat even still, and he did a sort of flippant wave as a lazy attempt at 'goodbye'. 

"Tsukki?"

The moment Kei was around the corner and out of sight of the other two he stopped dead in his tracks. Straining his ears he hoped to hear something more, but the silence curled around the empty halls. Unyielding. 

"Sorry, Tadashi."

* * *

Tsukishima made his trek through the halls with only the sound of his own footsteps to fill his ears. He refused to tug on the headphones lying around his neck, their weight making his shoulder's ache. By the time he reached Class 1-4 near the end of the first year hall Kei was ready to sleep for hours.

He stared into the dark, empty room and found himself swallowing back the urge to scream. He wasn't even entirely sure why he wanted to scream. He just wanted to get rid of the ugly feeling burying itself in his chest. Slimey, thick and suffocating.

Finally tugging his hands out of his pockets, Kei stalked across the room, pausing only to stare at Yamaguchi's desk. He felt the purple star in his pocket poke at his thigh through the fabric of his slacks. It was begging for attention, for the mission it was made for to be complete, and it was stupid to think of it that way because it was an inanimate piece of paper. Tsukishima knew it didn't really mean anything, but it felt like it meant everything. He needed Yamaguchi to see it, to see he still liked him.

It was risky. Yamaguchi could figure it out in seconds if he showed up a moment too soon, but even if he did Kei wasn't sure he cared. Yamaguchi needed to see it, needed to know that Kei loved him even when he couldn't admit it or show it aloud.

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Tsukishima reached down to tug the horribly crumpled star from his pocket. It was misshaped, and it really didn't even look much like a star anymore thanks to the squeezing of his sweaty palms and cramped nature of his pants pockets. 

But it was still from Tsukishima.

Shakily, as if afraid Yamaguchi would burst in any moment, Kei reached out to place the star directly beside the chair stacked on top of Tadashi's desk. It looked so off, so out of place, but it felt at home at the same time.

With a sharp nod, Tsukishima turned away, afraid to stare for too long. He tugged himself over to the window seats, pulling his chair down off his desk in order to flop into it haphazardly. He wheezed as if he had just had several years shaven away off his lifespan within a few seconds. At least, that's what it felt like, so it wasn't too far off, especially with how hard and fast his heart was beating. It pounded against his ribs with each lurch.

Now all that was left to do was wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger for you guys ;) Hope you enjoyed the update. The rest is all plotted out, so now all that's left to do is write.


	5. Step Five, Scratch That, Put the Plan on Hold.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kei makes the mistake of realizing not everything is alright.

Yamaguchi hadn't even looked at what was inside the crumpled up star on his desk. 

Kei had waited with bated breath as the boy entered the classroom. Tadashi hadn't shown up until practically the last second, Hinata waving him off before scurrying back down the hallway before the bell rang. Even so, Tsukishima couldn't help but stare as Yamaguchi crept across the room towards his desk, watching as the other grabbed his chair in preparation to take it down but froze just after he readied himself to tug at the metal legs of his seat. 

Kei could feel his heart in his throat, thick and uncomfortable as the brunette's eyes locked onto the purple mess of paper on his desk. He seemed at a loss for what to do until the bell rang and the boy was shocked out of his stupor, yanking his chair up and clumsily setting it down on the floor before scrambling to sit down. Almost too quick for Kei to catch it he reached out, snatching up the star and shoving it into the pocket of his uniform.

It made Kei's stomach lurch uncomfortably.

His eyes continued to stray towards the lump in Yamaguchi's pocket for the rest of class, but the boy never made a move to grab and check it.

* * *

By the time practice rolled around, Tsukishima was more drained than ever. He hadn't felt this emotionally twisted and confused since middle school, and with Tadashi's blatant avoidance of him throughout the day it only hurt that much more.

Between class breaks Yamaguchi busied himself, an aura of "don't talk to me" warding away any thought of attempting to converse with him in Kei's mind, and at lunch the boy scrambled away to work with Yachi on "something, don't worry about it I'll be back before lunch ends" to which Tadashi only turned back up just seconds before the bell rang and class began once more. Kei hadn't bothered to unpack his lunch or eat anything, instead shoving his headphones on and laying down on his desk as he stared outside and prayed that whatever he did wrong would become clear sooner rather than later.

He had to have done something wrong, either by leaving that note and hurting Tadashi that way, or by acting like himself as normal and unintentionally ruining the peaceful normality between him and Yamaguchi they had kept up for years. Either way, he messed up, he was sure of it, he just wasn't sure how.

The slam of lockers brought Tsukishima back to the present, and he lazily peered at his upperclassmen roughhousing as they exited the locker room. Once the two were out of sight, it left the remaining four first years in the locker room, and Kei the only one without a single item of gym clothing covering his partially bare frame. He had been so wrapped up in his own thoughts he must've zoned out for a few minutes, so quickly to rectify this he began to hurriedly tug on his clean shirt he brought that day.

"Wait!" Hinata's voice broke through the unusual and almost eery silence that had enveloped the clubroom once the door had clicked shut moments ago. Kei didn't bother looking up, forcing himself to keep his head ducked down as he continued changing even as Yamaguchi turned and blinked in surprise.

"Huh? Oh! No, Hinata, please, put that down," Yamaguchi pleaded, sounding tired as he frowned. Kei resisted the urge to rub the other's freckled back, hearing Hinata's gasp and Kageyama's grunt of disapproval. "C'mon, guys, is now really the time? We have practice in a few minutes-"

" _Pinch, serve, hit,_

 _The ball flies through the air,_ " 

The moment the first few lines left Hinata's lips, Kei could feel himself freezing. He lurched up, yanking his shirt the rest of the way over his head so he could spin around and stare, wide-eyed at the ginger. He was gripping purple paper, so hard it crinkled, and Tsukishima could feel his stomach bottom out in seconds; a horrible, empty feeling filling up his lungs that seemed constricting. The note Tadashi had refused to open had been unwrapped by the wrong hands this time.

" _I watched from outside,_

_Your determination shining through the barriers between us._

_With a wobble, it falls,_

_You score yet another point,_

_And the smile on your lips is everything to me._

_Keep your confidence in stride_." 

As Hinata finished off the poem his nose wrinkled in thought, lips pursed as he hummed and flipped the paper around over and over as if more would be revealed. "That was it? But it was so... nondescript! Did I use that word right, Tsukishima?" He asked, looking up at the blond and pausing once their eyes locked. Kei realized he must look mortified, wiping his face clean of any emotion even as his heart twisted in his chest.

"If you mean to say it was boring, just say you found it boring." Kei spat, words feeling sour in his own mouth as he forced himself to turn away despite the urge to rip the purple pages from Hinata's grubby fingers.

"I didn't find it boring!" Hinata huffed angrily from behind Kei, almost like a child throwing a tantrum. "I meant that... like, it feels like _anyone_ could have written it, you know? You know what I mean, Kageyama?"

A grunt, this time from the setter, and Kei distracted himself by changing into his gym shorts, trying to ignore the set of eyes boring into his back that very much belonged to the black-haired boy. "Are you stupid? Clearly, this person knows Yamaguchi well enough to see his improvement as a player. That's a bigger hint than anything else."

"Well... but... it's not hard to see he's improved! I still think it could've been written by anyone!" Hinata shouted, Yamaguchi squeaking somewhere beside Tsukishima. Kei assumed, then, that Hinata had turned his target of focus onto the pinch server, now. His thoughts were confirmed correct as Hinata continued to shout, even louder than before now that it was directed towards the brunette of the group. "When did you get this note? No one came by your locker today besides Stingyshima so it had to have been some other time, right?"

Yamaguchi shuffled quietly, the shirt in his fingers stretching under his nervous grip. Kei glanced at him, heart lurching in his throat as he noticed for the first time since class the boy's golden eyes staring at him. As soon as he noticed, however, Yamaguchi was looking away once more. 

"Well, I found it on my desk just before class," Tadashi murmured, and Kei could practically _hear_ Hinata's elation at the scent of another possible clue. "I got there last though, you know that, so I didn't exactly _see_ anyone put it there, it could have been anyone really!"

Tsukishima tugged his gym shorts up, the burn on his back even stronger now as he slipped his glasses off to rub them clean with the front of his shirt, knocking his locker shut with his elbow. Hinata paid no mind to him, however, instead beginning to bounce, obvious from the sound of his sock-clad feet pounding on the wood floor of the clubroom.

"So they _know_ where your desk is? That must mean it has to be one of the first years, at least! Or even someone in your _class_!" Kei froze, feeling Yamaguchi tense up beside him at the sudden suggestion. 

The air so quickly scooped from Kei's lungs was once again returned, however, as Kageyama scoffed louder than usual. "A first year? That doesn't narrow it down much. There's like... at least 100 kids in our year." He said plainly.

"That's right!" Yamaguchi chimed in, a wobbly smile on his lips. "Really, it's better not to search for them, we could end up wasting our time if it's someone older! It's not as if the first floor is exclusive to first years, second and third years come down all the time in between classes to talk to their favorite freshmen!"

"But the only second and third years we know are from the volleyball club!" Hinata insisted. "And this person knew exactly where your desk was! I don't think the upperclassmen have come to visit us before, except Daichi!"

"So _what_ , it's still a waste of time," Tsukishima said, seeing his chance to cut in as he slipped his glasses on and turned to face Hinata once more with the sharpest glare he could muster. Judging by the way Hinata jumped and took a slight step back it worked. "Yamaguchi is right, it could be anyone. The more time you spend trying to figure it out, the less time you have to waste your memory on volleyball or whatever else you do."

Hinata seemed to pause at that, but didn't look nearly as offended as Tsukishima had wished. If the short stack was offended the topic of conversation would inevitably switch, and Kei had hoped by insulting Hinata he would be able to distract him enough to make him lose focus. Instead, dare the blond to think it, Shoyo looked _contemplative_ of all things.

"Wait," He murmured, tilting his head slightly. The short boys' brown eyes bore into the tall blond and Kei felt his heart momentarily stop in his chest at the next words. "Did you see who did it, Tsukishima?"

Silence filled the dreaded clubroom, and Kei swallowed down the feeling of terror that had so suddenly welled up in his throat. Kageyama cut in this time, glaring at Hinata with a slight tilt of his head. "What are you talking about, idiot? How would he _see_ who put the note on Yamaguchi's desk?"

Yamaguchi's fretful eyes darted between the trio, not sparing a moment to linger on Kei for longer than needed. It made the blond's chest ache, the want to have Tadashi just look at him for more than a few minutes again feeling physically painful by this point. Hinata didn't seem off-put by anyone's reactions, gaze still locked completely and totally on Tsukishima. 

"Well... Tsukishima went to his classroom before any of us. If a second or third or even another first year from another class showed up he would've seen her!" The boy said, head tilting the slightest bit further. "And if they left the note on Tadashi's desk he definitely would have noticed, yeah?"

Not Kageyama nor Yamaguchi seemed to have a rebuttal for the words, Kageyama's dark blue eyes locking onto the tall middle blocker as Yamaguchi ducked his head and brought a hand to his mouth. From the click of teeth, Tsukishima could tell the boy was chewing on his nails once more. 

"I didn't notice anything," Tsukishima attempted to dismiss. Attempted, because Hinata stepped closer, eyes widening.

"So it was someone from your class? If you didn't notice anyone different coming in or leaving a note it must've been a girl from Class 1-4, right?" He probed, but before he could get much farther Yamaguchi stood up straight and pushed his way in between the two. 

Kei's heart was hammering in his chest, hands shaking at his sides as Yamaguchi frowned at Hinata, and Hinata was snapped from whatever determined state he had entered. Relief flooded the blond's system, but not for long once he remembered Kageyama's lingering gaze.

He met eyes with the setter, seeing the concerned furrow to the boy's brow and feeling dread well up inside him. That look spoke nothing but trouble for Tsukishima.

"Shoyo, c'mon, if Tsukishima had seen anything he would have told at least me," Yamaguchi said firmly. Kei froze at the lack of nickname, heart constricting tight in his chest. "If its a first year, he probably wouldn't have noticed that either. You and Kageyama come into our class all the time, and so do plenty of other students. He might've thought nothing of it."

Hinata looked the slightest bit disappointed but hummed in agreement anyway. "I guess you're right... but that means it's a first-year for sure! We should start looking at all of the first-year girls starting tomorrow! I'm sure we can spot a few you might be interested in, if nothing else!"

Kei tuned out the rest of Hinata's babble, heart still stuck on Yamaguchi. 

Tsukishima. When was the last time Tadashi had called him by his full last name? If being called by his given name was rare, being called by his last name was practically nonexistent. As long as Kei could remember Tadashi had never used his last name for him, even when they were children. 

"Tsukki," Yamaguchi called him back to the present. "Tsukishima, its time for practice."

Kei's eyes focused, noticing both Kageyama and Hinata were wandering away already, heading for the clubroom exit. Once the blond glanced back to Yamaguchi he was already looking away again, the golden eyes of the brunette focused on the backs of the other first years.

Kei swallowed thickly, the feeling of sharp needles stabbing into his heart from every angle filling him. "Right. Lets go... Yamaguchi."

* * *

Silence grew between the two boys as they walked home. For much of practice Yamaguchi had stayed quiet, practicing receives against Asahi and getting assistance from the giant's partner in (partial) crime, Nishinoya, to do it properly. Meanwhile, Kei focused on avoiding everyone he could manage, sticking to practice with Ennoshita, Kinoshita, and Narita as most of everyone else would badger him (Sugawara, Hinata, Daichi) or just plain annoy him (Tanaka, Kageyama).

Not having Yamaguchi to snark a comment at or bounce off of was awful enough, but to be so close yet feel a million miles away was somehow worse. The walk home made it that much clearer of the distance that had grown between them in a single day. Standing right next to Yamaguchi, Kei felt cold, not because of the air outside but because of the lack of everything the walk typically had. It had laughter, snark, wit, banter, general talking as the two of them brushed together and listened to music or talked about their favorite things from practice. It had life.

The silence itself was cold. Kei felt cold. 

It felt like simultaneously only a few minutes and a few hours until they arrived at the fork in the road, the one where Tsukishima would bid Yamaguchi goodbye before heading home to a dinner in the microwave and a warm bed, and Yamaguchi would go practice for a few more hours even if his muscles ached in protest. Once they both stopped, however, Tsukishima made no move to leave, no move to so much as look at Yamaguchi. They stood there, completely silent aside from Yamaguchi's soft breaths.

What should he do? Pretend as if everything was normal despite the clear cold shoulder he had been given up until this point? Or should he stumble over an apology for something he didn't know he did?"

"Tsukishima," Yamaguchi's voice murmured, sounding flat and making Kei's ears burn. There it was again. The formality, the distance. 

"Yes, Yamaguchi?" The blond asked, turning his head to stare down the road leading up to his house as if contemplating leaving before Yamaguchi even had a chance to speak. He couldn't, and he knew it, his feet rooted to the spot the moment Tadashi's soft voice met his ears. 

"Do... do you think Shoyo was right?"

Tsukishima paused, slowly turning towards the shorter male only for his breath to catch in his throat as their eyes met. Yamaguchi's brown eyes shone the slightest bit gold, a determined frown on his face. It was so little that Kei saw the other look so serious.

"About what?" He asked, feigning a calm demeanor as Yamaguchi's frown deepened.

"Do you think... the person who left the note... do you think he is from our class?"

Kei froze, his lungs closing rapidly and the sudden weight of the question landing on his shoulders. It was heavy, unbearable, and his jaw felt glued shut. He was unable to wrench it open, merely staring at Yamaguchi. The determination faded from his gleaming eyes, the light of the streetlamps flickering on as the distance between them grew once more.

Literally, and figuratively, the brunette took a step back before turning on his heel and walking away, hands clenched tight on his bag strap. 

"Goodbye, Tsukishima. I'll text you later. Have a good night." 

His voice was so flat, it hardly felt like he meant it, and Tsukishima couldn't find it in himself to blame Yamaguchi for the cold, terse tone. The boy turned the corner of the alley, now out of sight, and that's when Kei felt his entire body slump.

Jaw aching, hands shaking, and entire body hurting like it never had before, Kei finally forced himself to move, bag sliding off his shoulder into the slack grip of his fingers. 

He turned on his heels and headed home, ashamed of himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think this is bad... its only going to get worse, and no I don't apologize. Also I'll be trying to update more frequently now that college is over for the semester.
> 
> I apologize this took so long, even if I don't for the angst.


	6. Step Six, Wait For Him.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, I'm sorry, did you think I was done making this angsty?
> 
> Enjoy <3

Yamaguchi did, in fact, not text Kei later.

Of course, Tsukishima checked this to make sure. Checked once, twice, every hour flicking the screen on, and every few minutes biting his lips and chewing as he glanced at his phone screen desperately waiting for the flash of an incoming message. Nothing came. 

He wasn't quite sure why he was so desperate for a text, the last one he saw being a message from yesterday night informing Tsukishima that Tadashi had got home safely, his little emojis sprinkling the screen. He hadn't responded, it so late that Kei was passed out by the time the brunette had finally messaged him that night. Kei thought right about now he'd stay up as long as Tadashi wanted if it meant finally getting that bright ding and green popup.

Maybe he was desperate because the whole thing had ended off on a horrible note to begin with, a confirmation that Tadashi wasn't so upset with him to ignore him, a "today was horrible, but tomorrow will be better if you play your cards right". With no text, there was no confirmation, and considering the time...

Kei glanced at the clock above his desk, eyes burning as he squinted. His heart clenched tight in his chest at the affirmation that yes, it was indeed 11'o'clock at night with no sign that Yamaguchi remembered the promise to text him. Tadashi was well and truly pissed at him.

Frustration with Yamaguchi was expressionful, and every time the brunette became frustrated, either with Kei's self-pity or with something simple as a serve he couldn't do, he expressed it with ease. He would shake Kei, scream sometimes, or he would work himself to death trying his best to perfect something that dared to try and dance out of his reach. But anger was different, somehow. If frustration welled up fast and was released in a burst of energy then anger was a slow burn over many weeks to months, and once Tadashi snapped it was silent. 

He had to be pissed, Kei had to have done something wrong to warrant such treatment, but he wasn't sure what. Was his cold shoulder to Hinata that morning really the last straw? What else built up to this moment? And how could he fix it? If he asked Tadashi he was sure that would make the brunette more furious, so that was off the table entirely. 

What could he do, then?

Tsukishima groaned, loud and clear as he rolled over and shoved his face into his pillow. He gripped tight to the sides of the pillow, pressing it tight to his ears as if hoping it would silence his thoughts. He felt like Kuroo, at that moment, laying flat on his stomach with hands pressed at the sides of his head in hopes to silence the world. 

Kei wasn't entirely sure how this helped the older male sleep, especially since his heart lurched at the very clear dinging sound of his phone. Tsukishima sprung up, flinging himself onto his back to scoop his phone up from where it lay on his desk next to his bed, yanking it from its charger without thought.

The tight feeling in his chest unraveled, throat closing up as he gazed over the grinning face of Bokuto Koutaro's profile picture.

_Annoying Owl (23:12)_

  * _I FORGOT TO ASK!!! hoOW IS CONFESSING TO 12 GOING?_



Kei tossed his phone back onto his desk, the grating sound of it skidding across the wooden surface setting his ears on fire. He rolled onto his side, back to the phone illuminating his ceiling as he roughly tugged a blanket over his body.

Exhausted, he didn't bother to change out of his school clothes, to take off his glasses, or move to grab the phone again when it continued to light up his ceiling. He squeezed his eyes shut tight, curling up under his covers. 

Despite fatigue, he couldn't find it in himself to fall asleep until the phone stopped lighting up for good and it was well past midnight.

* * *

Saturday Morning.

Or as close to it as Kei could get, at least. He awoke, drowsy, uncomfortable, and feeling gross. When he managed to finally work enough strength into his bones he pushed himself up, eyes burning as he reached up to rub and itch at them furiously. He readjusted his glasses when finished, feeling their indentations in the side of his face as he threw his legs off the side of his bed.

He stood, wobbling as he looked down at his wrinkled clothes before his eyes then shot towards his phone on his desk, still unplugged from the night before. He grabbed for it easily, flicking it on desperately as his stomach twisted itself into knots.

Please.

_Annoying Owl (23:26)_

  * _5 New Messages_



_Annoying Cat (23:31)_

  * _3 New Messages_



_The King (08:33)_

  * _We should talk._



Kei tossed his phone back onto his desk without bothering to open it, turning away to begin stripping himself of his clothes. He glanced at the clock, swallowing down the urge to scream as he realized it was well past 10'o'clock in the morning.

He hardly ever slept that late, especially since starting volleyball.

Shaking off the feeling of fear and disappointment, Kei made quick work of grabbing pajamas to slip into. Once changed, he glanced back at his phone again, resisting the urge to grab and check it once more just in case he had misread the notifications.

He forced himself to walk away, heading for his bedroom door and wrenching it open. One step, two steps, he was outside, and the door was shut behind him. Kei's stomach lurched at the sound of the latch clicking.

He could do this, he didn't need Yamaguchi. He was fine without him. Tadashi was sure to text sooner or later, anyway. It had only been around a day, after all.

Tsukishima Kei was completely calm.

* * *

Saturday Afternoon.

On, off, on off, on... off. Click, snap, click, snap.

Kei repeatedly flicked his phone on and off, staring at the screen with his glasses pushed up his face and digging into his forehead. His laptop hummed, playing videos he could care less about watching even with it perched precariously on his lap as he lay on his bed. 

On, off. Nothing, absolutely nothing.

Was this obsession? Insanity? Torture? Click, snap. He was waiting for a text, a text Kei wasn't even sure would come along, repeatedly turning his phone on, click, off. 

Was he doing this as if Tadashi would message him sooner the more he did it? Click, click, click.

Kei squeezed his eyes shut tight, dropping his phone on his chest as one hand came up to pinch at the bridge of his nose tight. Stupid. That's what it was, not an obsession, a breach of insanity, or even some form of torture, it was just fucking stupid.

Tsukishima groaned, loud and clear, pushing his phone off his chest and smacking the spacebar key on his laptop to stop the incessant noise flittering about the room. Why was he waiting for Tadashi to say something when he clearly wanted nothing to do with Kei? Was he an idiot? How dumb did he have to be to keep sitting around waiting for something to happen when he knew deep down it wouldn't?

His fingers itched, twitched with the need to tear, to scream and punch, something to get rid of all of the excess energy laying underneath his skin. He instead forced himself to close his laptop, calmly for fear of cracking the frame holding it together, setting it aside on his desk and rolling over on his side. 

Quietly, seething, he reached around himself to pick up his phone again.

On, no messages, off again. 

Fuck this.

* * *

Saturday Night.

Kei ate his dinner quickly that night, silently nodding along to any of his mother's questions and brushing off his apparent moodiness as exhaustion. As soon as it was over he padded up the stairs as fast as possible, ducking into his bedroom. When the door fell shut behind him he leaned back up against it, flicking his phone out of his pants pocket and clicking it on in a fluid motion.

Blank. Empty. Tsukishima stared, long enough that the screen went dark again without him so much as reaching for the button.

Pleadingly, he pressed himself back against his wooden door harder, heels sliding against the carpeted floor and digging in. Click, the phone flashed again, but it was still empty.

Kei swallowed, thick in his throat, and pressed the phone to his forehead as he clicked it off. More than a day had gone by since he and Yamaguchi had last spoken, almost two days of cold shoulders and terse words.

Maybe he did need the other boy, after all. Maybe he should've reached out yesterday when the opportunity was there, ask if the pinch server got home safe, apologize for not answering his questions, get it all over with.

Was it too late to do that?

Ding! Kei jolted, head flinging up as he shoved himself back against his bedroom door again, having begun to slouch while stewing in his pessimistic thoughts. 

He pushed his glasses up as his phone dropped down back to eye-level, the middle blocker eagerly scanning over the new notification with bated breath.

_Akaashi Keiji (19:23)_

  * _Could you please reply to Bokuto and Kuroo's messages? Th..._



Tsukishima threw his phone at his bed before slamming himself against the door and sinking to the floor, arms curled around his knees.

Of course.

* * *

Sunday Morning. 

Somehow in the middle of his frustrated pity party, Kei managed to drag himself up to lay in bed and fall asleep, phone resting beside his head on his pillow. By the time the sun rose Kei was already awake, still laying on his side and staring at the black case of his smartphone, willing it to go off.

In and out of sleep all night, he was still exhausted, and his bones felt heavier than ever before. He didn't want to move, he was tired, but he knew he needed to.

The idea that he needed to get up, to move around and do things, it was overwhelming, making him feel that much heavier even as he forcibly pushed himself up.

He hunched over in his bed, staring at the blank wall in front of him before carefully grabbing his phone and shoving it in the pocket of his pajamas without so much as checking it. It hadn't gone off all night, he would've heard it if it had.

There was no point in checking it.

Slowly, Kei swung himself out of bed, trudging across his room and feeling as if he was out of his own body even as he moved. He stopped once he reached the door, standing there for a few moments just waiting. 

Maybe... maybe now?

Silence followed, and with a deep breath Kei forced himself to grab the door handle, turning until it clicked open. With a tug it was free, and Tsukishima squeezed his eyes tight. Breath, in, out. 

He stepped through, not feeling the slightest bit prepared to leave the cold bedroom he had woken up in but letting the door fall shut behind him none the less.

Phone heavy in his pocket, Kei started the short, faraway treck to the staircase leading downstairs.

* * *

Sunday Afternoon. 

Ding!

Kei didn't bother to reach for his phone, instead craning his head from his spot on the couch to stare at the lit-up screen.

_Shortie (15:48)_

  * _can you reply to bakeyamayamas mssges yet?? he's gett..._



Tsukishima rolled over, going back to staring at the book clutched in his grasp, the effort to read it making his temples ache. Any progress it looked like he had made was wasted, as he was so unfocused the words read didn't seem to register. He couldn't remember the last thing that truly happened in the book, eyes glazed as they stared at the word "lonely", the sound of it rolling around continuously in his mind.

Ding!

Kei twitched, blinking a few times as he tilted his head back to glance at the screen again.

_Shortie (15:49)_

  * _CMON ANSWER ME._



With a grunt, Kei rolled back tighter in on himself and went searching for the word "lonely" again.

Ding!

Tsukishima's grip tightened on the book, the crinkle of pages audible.

Ding!

He forced himself to sit up, book snapping shut as he rolled on his hips to stare at his phone incredulously. Ding! Another popup appeared, Hinata's messages now compiled together.

Ding!

_Shortie (15:52)_

  * _5 New Messages_



Ding!

_Shortie (15:53)_

  * _6 New Messages_



Kei growled, tossing his book down on the couch as he leaned over, snatching up his phone with a click of his teeth.

Angrily, he swiped across the screen, the lock flicking open with a few press of buttons. Hinata's messages filled his screen, and with another ding Tsukishima felt his teeth gnash together.

_Shortie_

_(15:48) - can you reply to bakeyamayamas mssges yet?? he's getting suuuiper annoying ab it!!_

_(15:49) - CMON ANSWER ME._

_(15:49) - h e l l oooooo?_

_(15:50) - uuuugh you and bakageyama and so ANNOyinG_

_(15:52) - SALTY BOI ANSWER ME_

_(15:53) - HELLOOOOOOOO?_

_You_

_(15:54) - Could you please shut up?_

_Shortie_

_(15:54) - YOURE ALIVE!!!! good now can you answre kags pLEASE he's so annoying oh my god_

_You_

_(15:54) - Shut up._

Kei clicked his phone off, letting it clatter to the coffee table as he flopped back against the couch and groaned. Rubbing his hands across his face and digging his palms into his eyes, the middle blocker sighed.

His head pounded, his eyes ached, he was tired.

The last thing he needed was Hinata bugging him because Kageyama was complaining for whatever reason.

Ding!

Kei screamed.

* * *

Sunday Night.

After finally managing to get Hinata to stop texting him, replying to Kageyama denying his "offer" (if it could even be called that) to talk, and apologizing to Akaashi for not handling the manchildren duo of Bokuto and Kuroo sooner, Kei sighed. 

His headache seemed to have faded somewhat since that afternoon, but the longer he stared at his phone screen the more dread built up in his stomach. He wished he didn't have to resort to this.

Asking for their help _again_ , the second time in less than a month, was excruciating enough, but he could practically feel the laughter at his incompetence coming a mile away.

With a deep sigh of regret, Kei gently plucked his phone up, staring at the screen for a few desperate moments longer, hoping anyone would come to interrupt him. Hoping _he_ in particular would finally message him, stop him before he dared open the next can of worms.

No one heeded his call, and Kei typed in the two names he wished he didn't have to see pop up on screen.

_Annoying Cat, Annoying Owl, You_

_Sunday, Dec 15, 20:43._

_Annoying Owl_

_(20:44) - OYA?_

_Annoying Cat_

_(20:44) - Oya oya?_

_Annoying Owl has named this conversation OYA OYA OYA!_

_You_

_(20:45) - This was a mistake. Nevermind._

_Annoying Cat_

_(20:46) - Now now, tsukki, c'mon and tell your lovely senpai's why you made this little group chat_ ((ΦωΦ))

_Annoying Owl_

_(20:46) - WAIT I CAN DO THAT TOO_

_(20:47) -_ （ꉺ▿ꉺ）

 _(20:47) -_ (ؔᶿ̷⌔ؔᶿ̷)

 _(20:47) -_ ლ(ʘ▽ʘ)ლ

_You_

_(20:47) - As riveting as you sending kaomoji's is, I did make this group chat for a reason..._

_Annoying Cat_

_(20:48) - SO TELL US_

_(20:48) -_ ٩(ↀДↀ)۶

Kei slumped, the back of his head thunking against the headboard as he took a deep breath. Slowly, he pushed himself up again, hunching over the screen and tapping across its keys.

_You_

_(20:51) - You two both asked how my whole "confession thing" was going with Yamaguchi. Evidently... I think I've messed up. I decided to work up to confessing to him by leaving him notes and it went well for the past week. Friday, though, he didn't read the note I left him and he's been giving me a cold shoulder since then. We haven't talked at all since our walk home Friday._

_Annoying Owl_

_(20:52) - WHAT_

_(20:52) - sorry i mean, what????_

_Annoying Cat_

_(20:52) -_ (ↀДↀ)✧

_(20:53) - Why did he stop talking to you so suddenly??_

_You_

_(20:53) - I'm not sure. I just know he's mad at me._

_Annoying Owl_

_(20:53) - why are you s sure of tat??_

_You_

_(20:54) - Even when angry at me, Yamaguchi will usually talk to me or try to be around me. He avoided me the majority of Friday and only talked to me a few times sporadically._

_Annoying Cat_

_(20:55) - Oh you f uc k e d u p_

_(20:55) - Did you text him to apologize??_

_You_

_(20:55) - No._

_Annoying Cat_

_(20:55) - WHY NOT OHNMY GOD_

_(20:56) -_ ٩(ↀДↀ)۶ _Number one rule of talking to boys you like, Tsukki-kun, you always try to apologize if you fuck up!!!!!_

_You_

_(20:56) - Thanks, I definitely haven't been beating myself up for that this weekend. Why do you think I'm texting you guys?_

_Annoying Owl_

_(20:57) - he hasa point Ttetsubro_

_(20:58) - well, while it would've been better to apologize sooner if you figure out why he was mad at you or how you messed up you can apologize to him in person tomorrow, which... reallly is eve n better than if you had done it over ttext without thinkingd abot what you did wrong!!_ (´Ο∇Ο)

_Annoying Cat_

_(20:58) - Omg bro you're a genius_

_(20:59) - And talk surprisingly well when you actually think about your responses_

_Annoying Owl_

_(21:00) - owl bite yoy_

_(21:00) - you***_

_You_

_(21:01) - That wasn't even the most egregious spelling mistake you have made tonight... but that's the one you decided to correct?_

_(21:01) - But... you may be right. I'm just not sure what I did wrong._

_(21:01) - And if I apologize tomorrow without knowing what I did wrong that'll be much worse than if I simply apologized right away without knowing what I did wrong._

_Annoying Owl_

_(21:02) - FUCK YOU'RE RIGHT_

_(21:02) - TETSSUUUU WHAT DO WE DO????_ (⁰▿⁰三⁰▿⁰ ‧̣̥̇)

_Annoying Cat_

_(21:04) - I don't think you guys will like my idea..._ （三ФÅФ三）

_You_

_(21:04) - Try me. Bokuto doesn't have any more ideas and I'm out of options, anything you suggest is better than nothing._

_Annoying Cat_

_(21:05) - Alright... you askedddd_

_(21:06) - What if you... I dunno_

_(21:06) - Just confess?_

Kei froze, staring at his phone and blinking as if the message would change the longer he looked at it. He had to have been misreading, right? There was no way after everything Kei had said that Kuroo could seriously think that confessing to Tadashi would be the solution, right?

_Annoying Owl_

_(21:07) -_ ತ ⌔̫ ತ

_Annoying Cat_

_(21:07) -_ (=ΦｴΦ=) _???_

_Annoying Owl_

_(21:08) - BRO WHOW WOULD THAT HELP AT ALL????_

_(21:08) - THATS A HORRIBLE IDEA!!!!_

_Annoying Cat_

_(21:08) - I SAID YOU GUYS WOULDN'T LIKE IT._

Kei sighed, running a hand through his hair. He was going to regret his next choice, he was sure, but... did he didn't have many options like he said. With resignation, the blond slowly began to fiddle with his phone once more.

_You_

_(21:09) - Explain._

_Annoying Cat_

_(21:09) - Huh??_

_You_

_(21:10) - I want to hear your explanation and reasons for why you think I should confess to Yamaguchi._

_Annoying Cat_

_(21:10) -_ （ФоФ)

_Annoying Owl_

_(21:11) -_ ⊚▿⊚

_(21:11) - TSUKKKI ARE YOU SEIRIOUS??_

_You_

_(21:11) - Yes._

_Annoying Cat_

_(21:12) - Well well well_

_(21:12) -_ (=ↀωↀ=)

_(21:12) - Looks like I'm the superior senpai here today!_

Kei watched as his phone filled up with messages of Kuroo and Bokuto arguing over their "senpai-status" as they called it, zoning out as message after message appeared on his screen. With another sigh, Tsukishima looked out at the window of his bedroom at the glowing moon and shining stars that lay just outside.

Maybe he could remedy everything, after all.

He just needed to try.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not me considering making a chat fic after writing this chapter, someone fucking help me.

**Author's Note:**

> All kudos, comments and critique are appreciated, especially since its been a long, long time since I've written any fanfiction and my first time writing a fanfic for this fandom!


End file.
